Misunderstandings
by Jasper's Girl 4life
Summary: From the Chronicles of Emmett. Next time Emmett will always lisen before he assumes


**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight. Trust me if I owned the saga there would be a lot more swearing. :) **

**A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I was completely swamped with projects and tests and I know that's no excuse but I can't say how sorry I am. For those of you who read my other stories I just have to type it up but I have most of it written, once again extremely sorry. Yea I was thinking about this during music class when someone *wink wink* was singing Don't Stop Believing really badly and stretching out the notes even though she thought she was amazing *cough* sure *cough*. **

******Misunderstandings**

**Emmett's POV **

Once upon a time in the land of far, far away there once was a lad named... wait a minute? Whoops silly me wrong story.

Ok, I was walking casually... actually, it was more like skipping excitedly swaying from left to right...through the hallways shattering picture frames with each bound, hearing the yells of Esme in the distance, on my way to Rosie Posy. I stopped suddenly mid-prance when I heard this awful noise. It was coming from Edward's room. I listened closer leaning my ear to the west towards it, stretching my abnormally large body in a lunge and using my super ninja vampire skills when I heard Edward yell in a very musical voice

"Doooooooooon't stop, Dooooooooooon't stop, Dooooooooooooon't stop!" He kept saying it over and over and over again stretching out the notes extremely long. There were some other words in-between that I didn't really understand so I cut them out. This could only mean one thing! Edward and Bella... well they... I mean you know...getting it on. Something they're both very inexperienced in I doubt they've even got passed kissing, I must go see. Although I love making fun of those two innocent virgins I must tell them they're going to regret it if they want to be "old-fashioned" and all. I'm sure one day they'll thank me for this and when they look back on all the funny things I did to them I can use this to my advantage, see I'm not all that stupid as everyone thinks.

I barged in covering my eyes with both hands and breaking the door easily kicking it swiftly at the same time with my mad vampire strength.

"What the hell are you both doing? You both said that this was not right before marriage" I yelled at them still covering my eyes from the horrid scene in front of me. I like sex as much as the next person, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to see my siblings doing the deed in front of my eyes, it's almost nearly as bad as hearing your parents go at it. I'll be scarred for life especially with my vampire memory I'll have to wash my brain in bleach, slowly frying the nasty pictures for the second time in this life.

"Emmett what are you talking about this is totally acceptable these says," Bella said in a breathy tired voice.

"I'm talking about well...you know what I'm talking about I mean do I really have to say it. I thought Edward was all "old fashioned" and you liked Victorian prissy hags and styles from the 1900's?" I asked really confused on what changed their mind. I know Edward has a pretty hard nut to crack... O.o that sounds wrong, i guess I got the phrase wrong.

"Emmett stop distracting us, just leave before he finishes!" Bella yelled at me. This is so wrong, I want to leave but I have to tell them they're making a mistake. Well, I guess there's nothing I can do since they already did it, yea I'll leave know.

"Don't stooooop believing! Hold on to the feeling! Yes! I did it! I did it! And I did it good to" Edward cheered. Holy f*ck I never thought I'd live to see the day never mind have it happen right before my closed eyeballs that would probably be bleeding right now from the terror. Icky I should have left faster, now is a good time, I slowly backed out the door.

"OMG that was awesome, amazing and you totally rocked it! Now I know vampires can do anything. We should totally do that again, like tomorrow or today or like the rest of the week! Emmett you want to join us tomorrow?" Bella asked super excited like she was running in circles. I cringed even though I still had my eyes closed, seeing Bella naked is not exactly my favourite hobby, and I don't think Eddie would be too happy to read it in my mind.

"Emmett, stop covering your eyes this is totally normal, I mean everyone does it these days and we can at least try to keep up with the times" Edward said.  
>"No I will not join you? Pervs! Why would you even ask that? I only do it with Rose!" I yelled at the two freaks. What have they suddenly become into threesomes it's only there first time?<p>

"But you and Rose don't even own Rock Band," Bella said questioning my sanity; I bet she was raising her eyebrows at me like she does all the time.

"Wait...what?" I said while slowly opening my eyes. Oh...they were. Oh... whoops time to leave now before they start with the questions they oh so like to pester me with. I hate smart people, they always ask to many questions.

"Oh...you guys were singing. I see, sorry for bothering you I'll just be going now," I said slowly backing out the door trying to escape as fast as possible.

"Emmett, how could you ever think me and Bella were doing the unspeakable act," Edward said in dismay reading my mind, wow it looked like he was totally against the idea like it was a disease or something.  
>"Emmett, how could you think that? He's way too big of a pansy" Bella said. I think she's getting tierd of the whole losing battle.<br>"How could you say that Bella I though you loved me," he dry sobbed, yep a pansy.  
>"See Emmett that would never happen, unfortunately. Look!" as she started to touch his arm<br>"OMG WAY TO CLOSE BELLA!"  
>"See," Bella said exasperated at Edwards over exaggerating.<br>"Ok ya well I'll be leaving now... awkward moment time to go" I said rushing out the broken door and down the glass covered hallway.  
>I left them to argue Edwards pansyness. Bella will win this because Edward always ends up crying into her arms about being manlier and how she deserves and good wholesome man. They have many issues as you can tell.<br>"EMMETTT! You broke the door to!" yelled Esme. I didn't need Jasper to know what she was feeling.  
>Oh shit I'm dead. Better go to my secret hide out under the garage through the tunnel half way to Canada.<br>I love Canada no one will find me in that foreign country. I mean who could understand them with their huge language difference, good thing I know Canadian **(for the record I'm Canadian and it's not much different from Americans, we don't all live in igloos )**. I'll be safe with my polar bears in my igloo. Better get a start on that before Esme tracks me down and rips off my arms to beat me with them...like seriously she's scarier than Jasper and the dude fought with Maria's evil army of vampire minions to take over the world. Hahahaha she'll never find me I just have to stay here for the next fifty years!

Next time I'll keep my strength for good not evil. Yes these are the Chronicles of Emmett, Chapter 4 Misunderstandings, yes I have my own book(diary).

**Drop me a line to tell me what you think. its my first one-shot so don't be to mean :) **

**Luv ya, **

**Francesca**


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